Tipping in the U.S. is way out of control

After recently participating in a major online discussion with hundreds of other people across the USA about the pros and cons of tipping for services in this country and how it has grown out of control, out of proportion, is being abused by many businesses and people working in the service industry and is beginning to feel more like an obligation rather than what it actually should be (an actual non-obligatory tip/reward to service workers for providing the general public with good service), I decided it was time to discuss this important issue that has been on my mind and bothering me for a very long time now. It seems that everywhere I go and everywhere I turn these days, some business or person has a tip jar on their countertop at the check-out, often nothing more than just a plastic cup or a jar with tips written on it. Before I get deeper into this, let me first state that I am and always have been a fair and good tipper, especially if the service that was provided to me was good or extra good, was for a service that is unique or special to me like having my car detailed, for a massage, a haircut, for a taxi ride or for an Uber driver, for a tour group leader who took me and a tour group on a guided tour somewhere, etc. I am even more generous with my tips if I know and like that person. For full-service sit-down restaurants, which I frequent quite often, I try to give 20% IF my server is attentive and does a decent job. However, like many people I know and have talked to about this issue, including the people I discussed this with online, I am growing very tired of feeling obligated to tip people who are honestly not doing very much to earn my tip if they are providing me any kind of service at all. For example, why should I feel obligated to tip people who are literally just handing me my order when all I do is just walk in the door and request a pizza, a doughnut or some food item that is already made or extremely easy to make? I don't. Buffets are another problem for me. When all that a person is doing for me is clean my table and provide me with a glass of water and nothing more, which they would have to do anyway, then I really do not feel that I am obligated to tip that person, even though I typically do to some degree anyway. Now let's talk about sit-down restaurants, which is a completely different issue and poses more complex circumstances. Here, I believe, people should tip their waiter and tip fairly generously if they were provided good, very good or exceptional service. But when restaurants tack on the gratuity automatically, that is the very last time I will step foot inside that establishment. In my humble opinion, a tip is a tip, it should be earned and should not be made to feel like an obligation. Automatic gratuities like that are nothing more than a tax that restaurants and their owners are demanding, not asking, that you pay or else you don't eat at their establishment. This is a big no can do for me. And the general public should not be shamed into tipping at higher percentages either, which happens all the time these days. A person should be able to tip however and whatever they feel like tipping, without being unreasonable or a tightwad, of course. While on a two-week fully escorted tour of Japan in September of 2024 with 39 other tourists like myself from Canada and the USA, it was refreshing for me and all of us to see that tipping is actually frowned upon in that country. In fact, most people in Japan will be insulted if you do so and will politely refuse your offer. You see, my friends, in Japan the people who work in the service industries are paid a respectable wage or salary that they can actually live on. An unusual concept, isn't it? The only exception to that rule was when my travel companion and I and the rest of our tour group, tipped our exceptionally good and hard-working tour guide and bus driver who were with us constantly for two solid weeks and did just about everything for us. I know that I (we) tipped them generously and that our tips were graciously accepted and appreciated by them. They earned their tips and that is the way it should be in this country as well. Gary Richards is a teacher and traveler who likes to write about his trips. He is a Norwalk resident.