Nothing can discourage a groundhog

I wouldn't call myself an expert on groundhogs, but I've hunted them most of my life, studied them, and interviewed shooters who are real experts. I'm a long way from knowing everything about these little varmints, but I've learned a few things and one is that they're smart and wary, and once an idea settles in their little pea brains, they can't be discouraged. Not by anything at all. For example, they love my garage and generation after generation has burrowed inside and around it, so much that I finally had to have the floor paved with six inches of cement. Even then they persist in digging holes around the outside. I've tried moth balls in their holes (doesn't work), other repellents, live traps baited with apple chunks works pretty well. I eventually found the only thing that does work, at least if you live in the country, which is a 12 gauge shotgun loaded with No. 4 magnum turkey loads. I'm sure that anyone living outside town with a barn, garage, or other buildings will understand. Still, the little chucks do have their good points, though they're few indeed. One is that they make for great PR with landowners. I once said in these pages that a single groundhog can eat $50 worth of soybeans in a year, but that's not true today. With bean prices higher these days, that number is closer to $100, which can put a real dent in a farmer's wallet if he's got a couple of dozen loafing in his fencerows. So, you visit a landowner who has some good deer and/or wild turkey land, offer to clean out some of the pests, and do so, when fall hunting seasons roll around, he's much more likely to say "Yes" to your request to hunt. Also, if you like to shoot and need something to get you outside at this slack time of year, taking them out at long range is as challenging as making a 30-foot putt on a local green. Some guys really get into it. They buy special rifles that might weigh 30 pounds apiece and cost a fortune, or at least a flat shooting little varmint rifle like a .222 or .22-250, then load their own shells, trying this bullet and that, this amount of powder or that, and try to achieve nirvana by making 300-yard shots, or 400, even 500. I know one man who can frequently reach out 600 yards on days when the wind is still, the length of 6 football fields! Personally, I've never done it. About 350 yards is my lifetime best. You can go the other way, too. If you want to hone your stalking stills, try seeking chucks with your favorite black powder gun, the one you love to use during muzzleloader season. When you can kill one consistently, you'll have little trouble with deer. I've also shot a fair number with an ordinary scope sighted .22, and that's an even greater challenge. Again, they're smart and wary, especially where they've been hunted some, and you'll need full camouflage, soft tennis shoes, and lots of skill to slip within 50 yards or less, and make a killing shot. If you like a REAL challenge, seek them now with a handgun. Clint Eastwood or John Wayne would have trouble here, especially reaching the necessary 30 yards or so. But I will say this, pop them with a round from a .357 or .44 and there'll be little doubt you hit them. Actually, no doubt at all. Finally, comes the ultimate — seeking the little bean eaters with a bow, hopefully one you'll be using during archery season this fall. It'll take consummate stalking skills to reach proper range and draw back the string before he spots you and races for his hole, but if you come back from a morning's hunt with as many as 2, Hiawatha himself will be impressed. Dick Martin, a freelance writer from Shelby, is a retired biology teacher who has been writing outdoor columns for more than 30 years. Reach him at richmart@neo.com. You also can visit his blog at outdoorswithmartin.com.