St. Paul High School hosts mental health panel

NORWALK — Students at St. Paul High School hosted a panel Thursday of mental health professionals and victims of abuse, hearing stories of difficult lives and methods to seek assistance. Gathering in the St. Paul Convocation Center, students were introduced to panelists by Kris Hickey, prevention educator for the Ashland County Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, who had been introduced by her daughter, Klaire, a junior at the school. Laney, an adult survivor of sexual, mental and physical abuse, detailed her life for the students, saying her troubles began during early high school, when she was sexually assaulted in a band room. She became suicidal and turned to drugs to ease her pain, beginning to recover with the help of counselling. After her first counsellor retired, however, and her junior and senior years became difficult and she entered an abusive relationship, beginning to exhibit several signs of depression, behaviors, that among others, should raise questions among others. "If someone tells you they're going to kill themselves, that's not normal," she said. While in college, the survivor said, she began being physically abused and received a conviction for driving while intoxicated, even at 20 years old, before she was legally allowed to purchase alcohol. After struggling for many years, she said, she is now able to focus on a clean, sober present that includes the pursuits of art and poetry. Katherine, another survivor on the panel, shared her beginnings as a child whose parents divorced when she was two years old, with a mother and stepfather who still struggle with addiction issues. "Addiction was pervasive in my household," she said. Katherine said her upbringing a rural area distanced her from peers, while her family took little notice of her, leading her to color her hair in wild shades and take up piercings and cutting her own skin. "I would have done anything to get my parents, my teachers, my friends, to pay attention to me," Katherine said. "I just wanted attention from anyone who would give it to me." Youthful rebellion worsened things for Katherine and she moved in with a 23-year-old man, who abused her, at 16. Smoking marijuana with her friends lead to her use of hard drugs, she said. The man coerced a lost child with no self-esteem, family support or confidence into self-isolation, a 30-pound weight loss and a drop in grade point average from 4.0 to 2.0. "My parents always partied, why shouldn't I?" College saw a scared, embarrassed Katherine whose physical appearance and behavior drew comments, but no intervention from her professors. She said, however, she would not have accepted help at the time. Two near-fatal overdoses and a vicious attack by her boyfriend prompted her to make a change, and in the wee hours one morning she called her father for help. "My dad was right there," she said. "He completely supported me." Before she would recover, however, Katherine said she would end up in jail and dropping out of college. In her cell, she wrote, read and contemplated her situation, eventually turning her life around. Life is not perfect, but Katherine has a stable career and is now pursuing her master's degree. "I still have cravings. I still have to be strong. The healing is something that I have to work on every day," she said, but added, "I got clean, I made friends and I have maintained my job for the last five years now." She encouraged the students to seek help for mental health or addiction issues early. "Your past doesn't have to be as rough as mine was." A survivor, named Michelle, said she was sexually abused as a child by her father. She sought help and counselling, but discontinued those efforts after her father was killed in a car crash, thinking they were no longer necessary. "I wasted my inheritance," Michelle said, noting that continued to fear men and suffer from nightmares. She grudgingly sought counseling, but her mental health devolved into crisis after losing her job and suffering renal failure that required kidney dialysis. "That plunged me into depression again," she said. "I needed to define my life again, because I had so much identity in my job. I'm still dealing with that. " Jamie Gfell, of the Nord Center in Lorain, said that his early education warned him with the phrase, "stranger danger." He noted, however that 90% of children who undergo sexual abuse are abused by someone they know. He added that child sexual abuse is exacerbated by social media. Gfell said that though he finds his work fulfilling, he would prefer children not suffer. "I wish it was a resource that wasn't needed in Huron County," he said. Denise Zanni, an attorney with the Sandusky office of Legal Aid of Western Ohio, spoke to the assembly about the availability of legal remedies that exist even for teens. Young people can avail themselves of legal services to stop abuse, stalking and dating violence, with various remedies, including juvenile civil protection orders. "It can be done if you want to do it and there is legal help out there," she said. "The worst thing you can do is stay silent." Zanni said that, on average, victims suffer seven occurrences of violent behavior before seeking help. "There's help out there for you," she said, "so reach out." Scott Brutsche, of Family Life Counseling in Norwalk, noted everyone finds him or herself nervous or sad at one time or another, but students need to examine the intensity of negative emotions and how long they last. Brutsche encouraged those affected should certainly reach out for assistance. "I think we've all tried to do it on our own and it doesn't work like that. "If you're looking for extra support, reach out for it," he said. "I guarantee someone will help you."